Blast From The Interwebs Past

Remember the days of internet yore ("yore" a word I've never used in my life until now ... I think I've just aged like 72 years just by saying that)? When the letters NSFW were no longer just an indication that someone didn't know the order of their alphabets, to taking on a new life as Not Safe For Work.

If names such as; "Star Wars Kid", "Leeroy Jenkins", "Mario Twins", "Homestar Runner", etc. don't ring a bell then obviously you weren't the cool kid in school ... or, more likely, you were the cool kid in school and had a life. I, on the other hand, have spent countless hours on the internet "researching" and with the help of some friends, who have also spent an equally inordinate amount of time online, have compiled a list of internet classics that everyone should know of. I guess you could say we're like crusaders, nay, Superheroes: "With all of your geekdom combined, I am Captain Dorkus!". (does anyone get the reference there? Anyone, anyone, Bueller?)

Alright, let's go ahead and light this candle:

All Your Base Are Belong To Us: When the Japanese video game, Zero Wing was poorly translated to English in 1989 no one took notice. But leave it to the geek world to catch it years later and turn it into an internet phenomenon. With the poor translation resulting in horribly bad grammar quotes such as, "In A.D. 2101, war was beginning." or "Somebody set up us the bomb.", became commonplace in computer labs everywhere. However, one quote that stood out most of all was, "All Your Base Are Belong To Us.", or "AYBABTU"/"AYB" for short. Once the web masses caught wind of this phrase it took on a life of it's own, commonly used in computer games like World Of Warcraft, Unreal Tournament, really any game that involves a base of some sort. So if you were completely unaware of the most hilarious translation in video game history, here's your chance to become acquainted with it: All Your Base Are Belong To Us

Homestar Runner: If another list of internet classics were ever to be devised and it doesn't include Homestar Runner, immediately close the site, dispose of your computer, leave the room, call the proper authorities and never admit to anyone that you read said list. Homestar Runner is an internet cartoon and if I were asked to describe it in one word, that word would be awesome. I mean, the site that gave us Teen Girl Squad, Strong Bad Email and the voice of Homesar, has to be a first ballot Hall Of Famer. www.homestarrunner.com
It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time: What's better than a banana dancing around to Miami bass music? If you know of something that's better, then please notify me. I really think that's all you need to know. What time is it?
The Juggernaut *****: Well I guess it's high-time (High-time, yet another term I don't think I've ever used in my life. What am I, 87?) I went ahead and introduced you to the term "NSFW". Yes folks, if you are at work, and you don't have headphones, then you should probably wait till you get home to watch this video. It's absolutely hilarious though. Pretty much some guys took an old X-Men cartoon and overdubbed their voices over it, hilarity ensues. This video was so popular, that the Marvel actually incorporated the catch-phrase into the third installment of the X-Men movies. Remember, NFSW: but still funny.
Leeroy Jenkins: World of Warcraft has always been synonymous with the word Geek. However, in recent memory the name Leeroy Jenkins has also worked it's way into the WoW (yes, I said it) lexicon. In-fact, Leeroy Jenkins became so popular that the game show Jeopardy had a question referencing Leeroy Jenkins. Now, I don't want to give the whole video away, but to give you a general idea, hilarity ensues after "Leeroy Jenkins" ruins the campaign for his clan. And if there's one thing a computer gamer hates more than his mom looking under his bed, it's someone ruining a very well planned game-strategy. You may not get the full understanding of this video, unless you're somewhat familiar with the game World of Warcraft, but it's still funny. Beware NSFW
Mario Twins: A band called Group-X (look to see that name quite frequently in this blog) playing their new video game, "Mario Twins". Mario Twins
Star Wars Gangsta Rap: A gansta rap summary of Star Wars. Pretty funny. If you're a fan of Star Wars, then you'll definitely appreciate this. Quality Stuff. Knock 'em out the box Luke, Knock 'em out!
Prime Number (Crapping) Bear: This very simple Flash animation features a bear that, um, ahem, defecates prime numbers. It will keep you entertained for hours. One thing that I learned from this classic is that if you meet a bear in the wild, don't try to get him to teach you math ... I hear they're pretty crappy counters!!! *crickets*
Kozo the Hippo: Well folks, just because it's an internet classic, doesn't mean I have to like it. This purple hippo named Kozo show's off her dancing prowess backed by The Thong Song. Someone found this funny, and I'm sure someone else will also find this funny. However, if I ever meet a purple hippo, I'm sure that I would have to assault it with a golf club. Because, if there are two things that I can't stand, one of them would have to be The Thong Song, the other would be a purple hippo dancing to The Thong song. I guess this is my version of hell. Bust a move Kozo.
Don't Touch That: Group X again, this time with a parody to MC Hammer's - Can't Touch This. The quality of the video, and the lyrics are hilarious. Go Hashmeer, Go Hashmeer, Go!
Hamster Dance: The Hampster (sic) Dance, is one of those things that you just have to see. Sort of goofy, but once you start watching, you have to keep watching. That's pretty much how it works. The weird thing is, I went to search for the original Hampster Dance, and found some weird site, created by the original Hampster Dance people, pretty much pimping the Hampster Dance as some new age music group. All I can say to that is, WTF? Who tries to capitalize on a lame internet animation like that? What are they Alvin and The Chipmunks meet Spicegirls? I'm not even going to link you to the "new" Hampster Dance, because that would just be evil. Luckily someone with some sense found the original Hampster Dance, and preserved it's original sacredness. Watch it!!!
The End Of The World: Ever wonder what the end of the world will be like? Well, you clearly didn't search hard enough, because the demise of Earth is documented here. By-the-way, it may sound like the Group X guys, but it's not, also NSFW. Fire z missiles!!
Numa Numa: This guy really likes this song. Maybe a little too much, I would say. This video became an instant classic, and became the second most watched video on the net with over 700 million hits. It was also parodied a number of times, and pretty much making Gary Brolsma (the guy in the video) an internet legend overnight. Gettin' Numa wit' it!
Star Wars Kid: So if you just read the listing above, you probably asked yourself, "Self, what video doth been watched the most on thine internet?" ... because I'm sure you talk like Medieval Monarch when you're by yourself. Well to answer question, your majesty *bows*, the video that has been watched the most, is "Star Wars Kid". With over 900 Million views Star Wars Kid has to be the funniest web video that you will ever see. A Canadian high-school student, using what looks like a broomstick as a weapon, imitates (complete with sound effects and all) a double-bladed lightsaber wielding Jedi. The video was filmed at the studio of his high school, and he ended up leaving the tape in the schools camera and subsequently became an internet superstar. Star Wars Kid sprouted legs of it's own, garnering a number of parodies, even one with Star Wars like effects, I'll leave you to find those on your own. Hey, I can only lead you to water. Use The Force.
Afro Ninja: The video starts off with a guy holding nun-chucks, wearing karate gear and donning an afro standing in-front of a camera. I can only assume that he's auditioning for a part in a movie, or something like that. He makes a cocky head motion, and hilarity ensues. The best part is that he keeps going after the fact. Laughing it other's misfortune at it's best.
Cereal Bawks: Our friends from Group X make another appearance, this time in a hilarious prank call to a grocery store. Not cereal bars, bawks!
Fensler Films - G.I. Joe: Eric Fensler took the old G.I. Joe PSAs and made his own parodies of some of them. Extremely funny stuff, and also NSFW. I would suggest watching all of them if you get the chance. Mr. Body Massage Machine, GO!
Mr. Coke: Another prank call by Group X, last one from them I swear, this time to a Waffle House. Really funny, you just have to listen to it. Machshmayonaise
XIAO XIAO: Stick figures fighting Matrix style, what could be better? One of the coolest stick figure fight scenes you'll ever see. This ain't hangman.
Ryu vs. Scorpion: If you're a gamer like me, then you'll know that Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter 2 are two completely different game series. So what happens when Ryu (from SF II) and Scorpion (from MK) end up crossing into the same realm? Well, apparently they don't really like each other that much, and all hell breaks loose. This is must see IP. Hadouken!

So with that, I'm going to go ahead and end this blog ... before you start to question whether or not I've ever had sex, or if I've spent all my time on the internet. Hope you enjoy these "oldies but goodies".